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Shadows of My Life

“Shu, I think you are going to be a great king” he muttered,

his silky voice stroked the air like an angel petting a

kitten. He turned the lights off, and headed down the dual

staircase, that he and I would spend all day playing on,

much to my mother’s discontent. I never saw my father


I remember the court’s hysteria. “King Hare is dead!” I

heard the maids cry. I was only seven, but these images

of desperation will always be painted in chrome colours at

the back of my head. I remember standing there, clutching

Tsuki-chan (my blue toy monkey), before running to Mum’s

chambers. I stood in the king’s corridor, disbelieving my

obedient ears. I would have pinched myself, but that feeling

of horror that bellowed deep within my core was far too

real to be a dream. I knocked on mum’s chambers, but

her bitter response was, “Go away!” I felt tears build up at

the corners of my eyes. “Mummy, it’s me, Shu!” I eagerly

responded, my voice cracking up with sadness.

“Is it true Mummy, is Daddy dead?”

“Shu!” My mum cried. “Shu, leave IMMEDIATELY!”

“MUM!” I cried. My eyes were water-pools of sorrow.

“SHU FUDJIOKA!” She took a deep breath, and as the

breeze changed direction, it became a gale.

“Prince Shu Fudjioka, I am the Queen of Tamaroon.

Do as I say!” She inhaled deeply.

“Shu, please leave!”

“But Mummy!”


I will never forget that day; those scenes are part of my

DNA, my bloodstream. After a week or so, Mum unlocked

her room, but the youthful flower that I knew as my mother

never regrew well, scarred for life. A damaged soul, a

broken heart.

That month, mum took me to the beach, which held strong

memories of my dad and I having fun filled outings together.

There were enough crabs in the rock pools to satisfy a

young boy’s mind, and the sea was pleasantly mild, even in

the coldest months of the year. I remembered hours passing

by quicker than minutes, and my dad and I going on great

adventures up the Ouran Coast. However today, minutes

felt like hours. I sat in the shallows, letting the serene waves

stroke my bare feet. I had my usual clothes on, a blue and

white striped jumper (one size too big) and chinos. I felt

the breeze play with my naturally white hair, and I looked

out into the horizon, which was reflected onto the grey,

crumpled surface of the vast seas.

“Mum, can I swim over to Puffin Rock?”


“Why not?”

“Manners, Shu! I have the courtesy to bring you here, please

listen to me!”

“But it’s boring!”

“Shu, I have found time in the royal schedule to bring you

here, please respect that.”

“Well, how did Dad find time to have fun with me, do his

schedule and be happy about it?”


“You only hate it because you know it’s true!”

“THAT’S IT!” She took a deep breath.

“That is ENOUGH!” She took a deep breath, clenched her

fists, and looked down at the pebbly beach.

“GET IN THE CARRIAGE.” She uttered.

I have forever regretted saying that to her. I was immediately

transferred to Kayaba Hall boarding school, and spent

seven years with very little contact with my mum. I spent

many nights on the rock hard mattresses, tossing and

turning in my bed, thinking about my mum and all her bad

luck, and how insensitive I had been to her.

I also thought about my dad, a lot. How we used to use

bamboo sheinais and pretend they were swords. Dad

always let me win, and say “Oh Shu!” then laugh, in his soft

purring voice. “You’ll be the strongest king Tamaroon has

ever seen!” Or how we used to go to royal appearances

together, and I would feel like the most special five-year-old

in the whole world!

About four months ago, I was studying in my chambers at

Kayaba Hall when the postman walked in and handed me

a letter. I thanked him then let him leave. I rather hastily

opened it.

Dear my beloved Shu,

I realised immediately it was from my mother. I took a huge


I have heard what a stunning young man you have become.

I am so proud!

I want you to come home and let your mother see for

herself. I also would like you and your nine year old brother,

Zen to become better acquainted. Very soon, on your

sixteenth birthday, it will be your coronation. We have

preparations to discuss and I have so much to explain.

Love Mother